Friday, April 15, 2011

White People Problems

We honkys are faced with a myriad of problems on a daily basis. Here are just a few: 
  • Existential angst
  • "My job is financially rewarding but it's so unfulfilling!"
  • Banana Republic doesn't have that cardigan you like in the right size. Now you have to order from the website!
  • Lactose intolerance
  • Tennis elbow
  • Low credit score
  • Getting annoyed by people who eat pizza with a fork
  • Your child not being accepted into an exclusive preschool program
  • Your Macbook Pro is acting up again
  • H & M not having an online store for the United States
  • Not having a fair trade store in your town
  • "Can you believe Bruce Springsteen agreed to sell his last album exclusively at Walmart?!"
  •  The local grocery doesn't carry a satisfactory selection of organic produce.
  • "What do you mean your menu doesn't have any vegan options?!"
  • Bonnarroo sold out
  • Oh no, so did Burning Man!
  • Getting aggravated by the poor grammar skills of others
  • "How I Met Your Mother" is showing reruns and it's still the regular season
  • Your neighbor's lawn decorations may be lowering your property value
  • The White Stripes broke up
  • Emenem's new album wasn't as good as you were expecting
  • There are too many Mexicans working at the local Chipotle
  • Glee is on summer hiatus
  • None of your local bars have a good selection of craft beers
  • A Hispanic family just moved into your neighborhood!

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